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Texas, United States

2/10/2013

The Doctor's Midlife Crisis Is My New Alarm Clock


Several months ago we got a new neighbor. He saw me out in the front yard and came over and introduced himself as Doctor Reggie, a seemingly nice guy I estimated to be in his 40's. I proceeded to  tell him I lived with my daughter and her husband and three grandchildren, a preteen girl and two teen age grandsons. He remarked he bet the boys would like his Corvette convertible. I told him I was sure they would, they were both already muscle car crazy. He told me it would be here tomorrow, his daughter was driving it in....to tell the boys to come over and he would take them for a spin. 

I told the boys and they were of course, anxious for it to get home. I found out I wasn't. 
I was in my bedroom the next afternoon and suddenly thought our cul-de-sac was being invaded by a Harley motorcycle gang on "speed." I walked outside and discovered, no, it was just the doctor sitting in his pride, his hot silver Corvette had arrived at it's new home and evidently needed it's pipes blown out. I supposed his daughter hadn't done it well enough. What do girls know about "man" cars?

I told the boys and they ran out for an introduction and found out all the pertinent details, as to what kind of high performance racing motor and loud duel exhaust system he had installed in it. They were excited. I wasn't. I now refer to it as "the darn doctor's Daytona midlife crisis "Vette."

They have three other nice cars and he usually drives his little black Mercedes to work and I like it fine, it's runs very quiet. But at least once a week I am awakened early in the morning by the only car he thinks enough of to put in his garage every night, the noisy metallic-glitter silver one. The one that requires him to rev it up for at least five miserable minutes before he races off to work. The boys in the cluttered with rock guitar paraphernalia room next to mine can sleep through a tornado...I can't anymore. I want to open my bedroom window and scream at my friendly neighbor, "What the heck is your problem Doc?...these are the best years of your life!"

I should know. I left them sitting in the dust in my hot silver Camaro 
over thirty years ago. 



10 comments:

Monica Brinkman said...

Anna, your articles are always such fun to read and this is one I think many can relate to.

Funny for we who read it but not so funny for you who live it.

Well, at least it is not every single day.

Anna Maria said...

Thanks Monica! He really is a nice guy who I assume thinks all his neighbors have to arise early to go to work and don't mind "RUDDIN! RUDDIN! very early in the morning...Or else he has the "doctor syndrome" that makes a waiting patient think no one else's time is as important as a doctors.

Jon said...

I rememer where I lived in Boston there were Harley D riders that would vroomvroom rev their engines for 10 minutes before riding down the main street. I imagined telling them that there's going to be a newly-invented Harley that has mufflers that make them ride quiet as kittens, and imagined them saying "What?? No!!!"

DMS said...

This post is hilarious. I prefer quieter cars, too. I would not like hearing the loud car in the morning. I know they are loved by many. I undersand loud motorcycles because they help people to hear them and notice them (for safety). Maybe the doctor wants the same, but for different reasons. :) Hope he takes the Mercedes this week.
~Jess

Anna Maria said...

Jon...I actually like the distinct rumble of a Harley...just not in my ear when I'm trying to sleep. If they put mufflers on them I'm sure they would be modified as sure as they got out of the store. :)

Anna Maria said...

Thanks Jess...I'm not sure why he has to rev it up so often and for so long...other than he likes the way it sounds and has no idea the neighbors can hear it loud also and it might get old...old enough to provoke a frustrated blog post. :)

Jill Paterson said...

I think this doctor must have relatives in my neighbourhood. Too bad they can't all live next door to each other!

Anna Maria said...

Jill...you can't imagine how many times their Dad has had to yell at the boys to turn their Xbox Grand Prix auto race game volume down in the game room so we can hear the TV in the den. I'm convinced an addiction to ZOOM!!! ZOOM!!!ZOOM!!! is testosterone affiliated.

GRACE PETERSON said...

Sheesh. Somebody needs to learn some manners. :) Dr. ML Crisis needs to tone it down a notch or at least wait until 10 AM to fire up his pride and joy. (Emphasis on pride.)

What I wonder is whether men like him are unaware of how transparent they are or they just don't care. Most of us are laughing at them behind their back.

Great post! (I saw you on the ATTMP forum.)

Anna Maria said...

Thanks for stopping by Gracie! I've lived a long time and I've yet to figure out what most men think.

I was thinking after I posted this piece, that I wish I had parked my silver Camaro in a barn and let it mellow all these years. These boys would have loved it, it's become a classic worth far more than I paid for it new to appease myself after a divorce. :)