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Texas, United States

2/17/2015

The Funny & The Scary Aspects Of Capitalism

THE FUNNY ASPECT
 
Traditional Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
 
 
American Capitalism
 
Your have two cows. You sell three of them to you publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bother-in-law at the bank, then exeute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
 
 
 
Australian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
 
French Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
 
Japanese Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
 
German Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a month, and milk themselves.
 
British Capitalism
 
You have two cows. Both are mad.
 
Canadian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose-in fact, yes they are. One speaks French, one speaks English. One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it. They both play ice hockey rather well.
 
Italian Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. 
 
Russian capitalism
 
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and find you have 42 cows. You count again and you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
 
Swiss Capitalism
 
You have two cows, none of which belong to you. You charge outrageous fees for storing them.
 
Chinese Capitalism
 
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine production, and arrest and detain without trial the journalist who reports the number of cows.
 
New Zealand Capitalism
 
You have two cows. That one on the left is rather cute.
 
*****
 
THE SCARY ASPECT
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
The bare facts have become rather scary. 
 
 
 
 


6 comments:

Bouncin Barb said...

Oh so true isn't it?!

Anna Maria said...

Barb...unfortunately it is true. I do wonder what America is going to be like for my Great Grandchildren.

DMS said...

There are funny parts to this post, as well as sad and scary! Definitely a lot to think about.
~Jess

Anna Maria said...

It is a lot to think about Jess. I suppose that's about all we can do. My fear is another "Great" Depression even "Greater" than the last one.

GRACE PETERSON said...

And the worst thing is, there seems to be nothing we can do about it. The wealthy have all the power. It's infuriating to say the least.

Anna Maria said...

Grace...there really doesn't seem to be much we can do about it and it's sad. I do wonder what's in store for my grandchildren.